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送交者: 一老中。SR 于 November 25, 1998 16:39:46:
笑E笑
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送交者: 一老中。SR 于 November 23, 1998 17:05:12:
笑E笑
朋友來E，灑家試譯。翻得不好，請別在意。
TGIF! Have and nice weekend and enjoy the joke!
周五又到了！來一笑話并祝周末好。
其一 《怪不得這樣累》
This explains it all...
這能解釋一切
Why I'm So Tired
我為啥這樣累
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much
partying. But now I found out the real reason.
在過去兩年，我一直責怪自己PARTY太多又睡得太少。但現在
我知道了真正的原因。
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
感覺太累是因為哥兒們活干得太多。
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are
retired.
美國有2億3千7百萬人。其中1億零4百萬退了休。
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
所以就剩1億3千3百萬來完成工作
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
而又有8千5百萬的學生，所以就剩4千8百萬可用之材。
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This
leaves 19 million to do the work.
其中有2千9百萬是聯邦政府雇員，還剩下1千9百萬。
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do
the work.
再減去4百萬大兵，剩下1千五百萬勞力。
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City
Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
這里還有1千四百80萬是州政府和市政府的雇員，奶奶的，就剩
20萬了。
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
其中18萬8千人在醫院里趴著呢，還剩1萬2。
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people
to do the work.
這1萬2里，又有1萬1千9百98個被圈在監獄里。哈哈，他媽的，
就剩兩個干活的了
You and me.
你和我，咱哥兒倆
And you're sitting there reading jokes.
而你又坐著看笑話呢。
I think we all shall be aware of this......
唉，大家都知道這事兒么？
其二：《敲門磚》
----在美的朋友請注意，這不是玩笑
Subj: D.A.R.E. PROGRAM WARNING
The police officer that works with the DARE program at my
husband's elementary school passed this warning on to us and now
I share it with you....
If you're ever driving after dark and see an on-coming car with
no headlights turned on, DO NOT flash your lights at them! This
is a common gang member "initiation game" that goes like this:
the new gang member under initiation drives along with no
headlights and the first car to flash their headlights at him is
now his "target". He is now required to turn around and chase
that car and shoot at or into the car in order to complete his
initiation requirements. Make sure you share this info with all
the drivers in your family!!
Stay safe!!
其三：《原來如此》
Check out this mathematical formula.
請看下面的計算
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business
executives.
工程師和科學家永遠也不會和經理們掙錢一樣多。
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
下面給出嚴格的數學証明：
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
假設1：知識就是力量。
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
假設2：時間就是金錢
As every engineer knows,
每個工程師都知道，
Work 功
------ = Power 力量(功率) = ------
Time 時間
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have
因為 力量=知識，時間=金錢，所以，我們就有：
Work 功
------ = Knowledge 知識= -----
Money 金錢
Solving for Money, we get:
從而解出金錢：
Work 功
----------- = Money 金錢 = ------
Knowledge 知識
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless
of the Work done.
進而，不論所作功的大小，當知識趨近零時，金錢趨近近于無窮大
功
LIMIT 金錢 = LIMIT (------) = ∞
知識--》0 知識--》0 知識
Conclusion: "The Less you Know, the more you Make."
結論：“知道的越少，掙得越多。”
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