送交者: 西岭居主 于 January 17, 2001 14:22:43:
拿老板开涮(2)----给阿丽莎贡献一个段子
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送交者: 西岭居主 于 January 13, 2001 17:11:22:
拿老板开涮(2)
-- 西岭居主 --
我总喜欢反其道而为之，不是要说中美文化差异嘛？我倒想表现
一下中美文化的共同点，这件事是我的真实经历，当然你尽可以
夸张地表演一下，用一个人的TALK SHOW形式最好。你表演的时
候录下来吧，肯定能得大奖,:-)
场景还是我工作过的一家大银行，老板是个五十多岁的犹太人，
具有纽约这个大都市中，世界著名大公司上等PROFESSIONAL的自
豪感，但又坚守表面上的POLITICAL CORRECTNESS。
我刚上班时，就为着装闹了个大笑话。我第一天穿全套西装来上班，
老板说：“Business casual is OK.” 我第二天改穿Blue jean,
white sneaker，cotton shirt。老板对我叹了一口气：“We got
to talk”---the worst 4 words in English。我下班时趁老板不
注意溜了，溜出去买衣服了。
老板有点小爱好，就是中午吃饭时要向他汇报工作，不汇报时要
听他吹牛，还要陪笑，一顿饭都吃不舒服。他不吹牛的时候就顺
便挖挖我的隐私，当他了解到这是我到美国后的第一份工作后，
有点惊讶，似乎我应该先到一家 LESS FAMOUS的公司工作，而不是先
到他这里，他立刻给了我一件很难的活儿，其目地是不是为了把我赶
走不太好说。但实际上这根本难不倒我，而且我对他引以为骄傲的
PROJECT根本就不放在眼里，只不过出于礼貌不说出来，但心里对他
的态度着实恼火，伺机报复。
机会说来就来了，这天中午时分，我好不容易花了半天时间，才
把老板编的宝贝程序InSight安装成功，老板叫我同去吃午饭。
“OK let's go。” I said, “I have a good story for you
today。”
“Great!” he replied, my boss loves to hear funny stories
in lunch hour.
当我们坐在餐桌上时，我开始讲我的故事。
“You know I am from Beijing, the capital of China. The
Beijingers are famous for their social courtesy and politeness。
About 100 years ago, it was in Qing Dynasty，when people
got up every morning and met each other, they usually
spent half a hour to exhange greetings...”
“Half a hour?! That is incredable!”一个瘦的只剩两扇排骨
的女同事惊叫起来。“How come?” My boss asked with extrame
seriousness: “How could they spend half a hour to exchange
greetings?”
我一看他那副比爱因斯坦还认真的样子，都有点不忍心了，强忍住笑
说：“Well, they didn't have to get to Metro Tech Center
every morning by 9 'o clock, they had a lot of time to kill。”
我接着侃：“The topical conversation started like this: 'How
are doing today, Steve?'” Steve 是老板的名字，他眉毛一扬，点头
微笑，表示理解。
“What would you reply?”我问道，不等他回答，立刻说：“You would
say I am doing great, right？” 老板接着点头。
我看老板进了圈套，暗暗得意：“Then you would be asked: 'How is
your grand father?'” 老板略显疑惑地看着我，保持着礼貌的微笑。
我一口气说了下去：“And the next question would be 'How is your grand mother?
...Oh, sorry to hear that! How is you father? ...he is good? How is your
mother? ...Nice to hear that! How is your father in law? ...Really, how is
you mother in law? ...How is you wife?...How is your children?... '”
老板脸上已经换上了略含嘲讽的冷笑，我对此再熟悉不过了，我刚到美国时在
recruiters，房东等人的脸上不知看见过多少次了。我不动声色地继续说：“Well,
I thought that good-old-day like this had been passed long before, but
until this morning, I knew I was wrong.”
老板瞪大了眼睛瞧着我，我冷冷地迎视着他的眼睛：“I found our
installation program for InSight has the exactly same behavior。”
旁边的几位同事愣了一下，哄堂大笑。同组的一位老美哥们笑得打鬲，连连
说：“I know what do you mean. When you install InSight, you would
be asked:'Do you want to install it into this computer? What is your
first name, What is your middle name? What is your last name? What is
your gender? What is your home phone number? etc etc...”
当然他也夸张了一点，但我确实用了整整一个上午才把InSight安装到我的PC上。
老板没再说什么，不可抑制地跟着我们笑了半天。
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PS:
下面一篇文章的最后一部份，是基于同一背景的。
节食减肥记
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