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送交者: 一老中。SR 于 November 25, 1998 16:39:46:
笑E笑
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送交者: 一老中。SR 于 November 23, 1998 17:05:12:
笑E笑
朋友来E，洒家试译。翻得不好，请别在意。
TGIF! Have and nice weekend and enjoy the joke!
周五又到了！来一笑话并祝周末好。
其一 《怪不得这样累》
This explains it all...
这能解释一切
Why I'm So Tired
我为啥这样累
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much
partying. But now I found out the real reason.
在过去两年，我一直责怪自己PARTY太多又睡得太少。但现在
我知道了真正的原因。
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
感觉太累是因为哥儿们活干得太多。
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are
retired.
美国有2亿3千7百万人。其中1亿零4百万退了休。
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
所以就剩1亿3千3百万来完成工作
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
而又有8千5百万的学生，所以就剩4千8百万可用之材。
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This
leaves 19 million to do the work.
其中有2千9百万是联邦政府雇员，还剩下1千9百万。
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do
the work.
再减去4百万大兵，剩下1千五百万劳力。
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City
Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
这里还有1千四百80万是州政府和市政府的雇员，奶奶的，就剩
20万了。
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
其中18万8千人在医院里趴着呢，还剩1万2。
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people
to do the work.
这1万2里，又有1万1千9百98个被圈在监狱里。哈哈，他妈的，
就剩两个干活的了
You and me.
你和我，咱哥儿俩
And you're sitting there reading jokes.
而你又坐着看笑话呢。
I think we all shall be aware of this......
唉，大家都知道这事儿么？
其二：《敲门砖》
----在美的朋友请注意，这不是玩笑
Subj: D.A.R.E. PROGRAM WARNING
The police officer that works with the DARE program at my
husband's elementary school passed this warning on to us and now
I share it with you....
If you're ever driving after dark and see an on-coming car with
no headlights turned on, DO NOT flash your lights at them! This
is a common gang member "initiation game" that goes like this:
the new gang member under initiation drives along with no
headlights and the first car to flash their headlights at him is
now his "target". He is now required to turn around and chase
that car and shoot at or into the car in order to complete his
initiation requirements. Make sure you share this info with all
the drivers in your family!!
Stay safe!!
其三：《原来如此》
Check out this mathematical formula.
请看下面的计算
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business
executives.
工程师和科学家永远也不会和经理们挣钱一样多。
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
下面给出严格的数学证明：
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
假设1：知识就是力量。
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
假设2：时间就是金钱
As every engineer knows,
每个工程师都知道，
Work 功
------ = Power 力量(功率) = ------
Time 时间
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have
因为 力量=知识，时间=金钱，所以，我们就有：
Work 功
------ = Knowledge 知识= -----
Money 金钱
Solving for Money, we get:
从而解出金钱：
Work 功
----------- = Money 金钱 = ------
Knowledge 知识
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless
of the Work done.
进而，不论所作功的大小，当知识趋近零时，金钱趋近近于无穷大
功
LIMIT 金钱 = LIMIT (------) = ∞
知识--》0 知识--》0 知识
Conclusion: "The Less you Know, the more you Make."
结论：“知道的越少，挣得越多。”
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